Crumblin' walls and fallin' hearts
by Merlin0720
Summary: Merlin has a painful past, but could this Arthur at his latest school teach him to trust people again, maybe even to love? or will the past come back before they even get a chance to find out? Merthur Merlin/Arthur slash with Gwaine/Percival Morgana/Leon Lance/Gwen Warnings: child abuse, violence
1. Chapter 1

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When the alarm blared to life at six in the morning, it didn't wake the dark-haired boy as it was designed to. He was not only awake, but he had already showered, dressed, and was simply sitting at his window, resting his head on his fist. He watched as the sun rose and quietly illuminated the quiet street. There were a few people milling around, obviously enjoying the daily routines he could never bring himself to establish. He knew he would never learn any of their names. There was no point getting comfortable in a life like his. Things were bound to change, hearts were bound to break, and he was used to hiding behind his walls.

Thirty minutes later Merlin sighed and left his peaceful perch in favor of the crowded kitchen downstairs. He snagged a banana, nodded at Freya and Will, grabbed his sister Gwen's hand and walked out the front door. As soon as they entered the cold, Gwen began to babble in excitement. Unlike her older brother, Gwen was always excited to attend her first day at a new school. She was a social butterfly and loved to meet the new people. Merlin knew he would spend the walk home being regaled of tales of friendship he would never find.

Merlin wasn't the type to make friends very quickly and he wasn't in a single place long enough to connect to his peers well at all. He watched the world around him with wary eyes and any social interaction had a purpose. He knew that he was slightly odd-looking and accepted the fact that he wasn't really meant to enjoy this life. From the day he was born, Merlin had been battered by life. No matter what he did, tragedy ensued. He knew his job was to protect his sister and after what happened last time, he wasn't willing to look away from that task.

Though Merlin loved his sister more than life itself, he was relieved when they finally walked through the fence surrounding the new school they would be attending. Gwen squeezed his hand and he looked into her concerned eyes.

"Are you okay? I know how much you hate this," she whispered. Merlin felt a small flash of gratitude and gave her a small smile. "I'll be fine. I'll stick to myself and what happened last time…well, you won't have to worry about that this time," he replied. Gwen shook her sorrowful eyes and gripped his cheeks in between her palms. "Merlin, that was not your fault. I don't blame you, so please let it go. That's no way to live and I really want to see you happy. Please, just try," she pleaded. "Please. For me."

Merlin nodded his head looked away. Gwen just sighed as they walked into their first period class side by side. Neither one noticed the muscular blonde boy that had been watching them both from within a group of football players. Neither had noticed his interested gaze, or the way his face had fallen when Gwen had held Merlin's face. Despite their obliviousness, things were changing.

-**this is a page break-**

Arthur Pendragon had the world at his hands. His life was the kind people dreamed about. He had two loving parents, an annoying sister who secretly loved him, a group of amazing friends, money, prestige, talent, and looks. He was widely accepted, even the fact he was gay hadn't rubbed his life the wrong way. He woke up to his alarm, got ready for school, and drove to school in a car paid for by his father. He was the senior captain of the football team and he was eagerly awaiting the game in a few days. He arrived at school a few minutes early and was immediately swarmed by his friends. Leon clapped his shoulder and winked at his sister Morgana, which made the raven-haired girl blush as she kissed her boyfriend's cheek. Though it was a little weird to have his best friend dating his sister, Arthur had to admit they treated each other well and worked hard to keep him comfortable. That was more than he could ask. Lancelot and Elyan waved at him and easily included him in their conversation about a football technique. Gwaine smirked at Arthur and nodded toward the door, where a darker skinned girl and a boy had just entered. They must have been new because Arthur was sure he would have remembered a face that beautiful. He stood there, completely entranced by the boy in front of him, for about two minutes before a laughing Gwaine happily punched him in the shoulder, much to his boyfriend, Percy's dismay. Arthur turned back to Gwaine, trying in vain to convince his heart to slow.

"Like the new boy, huh? I thought you might. I saw him in the office yesterday when I had office aid. He's not really my type," he said, intertwining his fingers with his gentle giant. "But I thought he might be yours." Arthur nodded his head and turned his gaze back toward the door in time to see the girl cup the dark-haired boys face in her hands. Arthur felt his heart constrict in disappointment as he turned back to his friends, unable to watch the kiss he knew would follow.

Gwaine looked shocked and looked at Arthur in dismay. "I'm so sorry Arthur. I didn't know I swear. I wouldn't have..." he began, but Arthur just waved him off and let his head fall in his hands for a brief moment before he pushed them back in his hair. Percy looked at him in pity and quietly added his observations. "They could just be good friends, I mean they didn't kiss or anything," he said. Arthur took a deep breath and responded as strongly as he could. "It's fine. I mean I haven't even talked to him. He's probably an awful person anyway." Percy and Gwaine gave him doubtful looks but nodded their half-hearted agreement while the rest of the group joined them as they went to take their seats. Even though he knew he shouldn't, Arthur couldn't help looking back at the two new kids. There was something about them that he couldn't deny was special. Now he was dying to figure out what it was.

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	2. Chapter 2

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Arthur spent the rest of the morning throwing what he could only hope were inconspicuous glances toward the dark-haired boy, who he learned during homeroom was named Merlin. He was pleased to discover that Merlin was not only in his homeroom. He found him in his Physics class, his Spanish class, and his Government class. Sadly, the girl, Gwen was also in all those classes. Arthur noticed that Lance seemed to be having a similar problem as himself. He kept sneaking glances back toward Gwen over his Spanish verb conjugations. Arthur gave him a small, sad smile each time he caught him looking. Lance returned it with a tight one of his own.

When Arthur approached his Calculus class, he was in poor spirits. He hated calculus and had none of his friends to keep him distracted. He had people he was friendly with, but that just wasn't the same. He walked into the room and all but collapsed into his regular seat. He sat and reread the past assignment, but he had no idea if he was supposed to be finding the derivative or the limit. He wasn't even completely sure what the derivative was, or why he should care. He was so caught up in his thoughts that he failed to notice when the normally empty seat beside him was filled. When his teacher began to talk about the past test that Arthur had failed spectacularly, he finally looked up from his work. He glanced next to him when he heard a slight shuffling of papers and was surprised to see Merlin sitting there. He looked around and discovered that not only was Merlin in his class, but Gwen wasn't.

Arthur tried to focus that day, he really did. He tried to listen to the teacher and even managed to write a few notes on the second derivative, but his gaze kept coming back to the beautiful, surprisingly silent boy beside him. Arthur could count on one hand the number of times he had heard him speak and he had been with him all morning. Arthur's teacher, Mr. Dolma, seemed to immediately notice Merlin's apparently brilliant Calculus abilities. He called on Merlin often and he always had the answer. Merlin seemed to grow more confident with each question and by the time they were packing up their things he was even teasing Mr. Dolma about a mistake he had made on their final practice problem. The one Merlin had helpfully pointed out.

Arthur smiled, liking the more verbose Merlin. He looked over at him and his mouth began to move faster than his brain. "Hello. My name is Arthur and I would love to get to know you some more… I mean you and Gwen are welcome to sit with me at lunch... I mean I would like it if you would eat by me… and my friends." Arthur felt heat flooding his cheeks and bit his lip as he awaited a response to his hesitant offer. Merlin looked at him through wide, warry eyes. Arthur could almost hear the internal battle going on behind those guarded eyes. Arthur felt the tension rising to almost palpable levels before Merlin spoke.

-Page break-

Merlin's morning had been routine. He had gone through his classes, done his work, and kept his head down, much to Gwen's disappointment. He was happy to have her by his side in his classes, but he knew that though their mornings were identical, their afternoons were spent apart. In a way, he was happy about that. He felt like his presence had prevented Gwen from making any friends. She seemed happy to be his partner in Spanish, and sit beside him in every class, but Merlin was sure it was at the very least partly an act. He knew that he had ruined her life, even if she would never admit it.

When they got up to leave their last shared class, government, Merlin could see Gwen's concerned look. He threw he a small smile, wished her luck and headed off toward his Calculus class. He had always loved math and been informed that it made him a nerd. Not that he cared. He learned early on that numbers are much more dependable than people are. He loved to lose himself in a problem. It made it easier to deal with the world around him. It was also the reason he loved to read. He needed an escape and he found peace in challenging his mind. Of course, his love to read had faded with the events of the last few years, but no one had been able to tarnish the appeal numbers had for him.

He walked into his class and sat in the only unoccupied seat. The blonde kid next to him was intensely reading a page full of roughly drawn numbers. If the number of erased and rewritten sections were anything to go by, he hadn't really understood it. Merlin smiled slightly at the attractive boy beside him for a few seconds, feeling a spark of rare hope before it once again disappeared. He wasn't going down that road again. He probably wouldn't like him and if he did, Merlin had learned to avoid this mistake with Cendred. He looked away and focused on his innocent, non-betraying numbers. He couldn't help but feel as though it said something about him, the fact that he found his comfort through inanimate ideas.

He focused on his class and found an unlikely friend in Mr. Dolma. It was easy to speak to him because he knew the language he was speaking and it was obvious that was all he wanted from Merlin. He wouldn't force him to talk about his past or open up about feelings that where better hidden from the world. It was a simple interaction that Merlin needed.

When the lesson was over, Merlin gathered up his stuff. He jumped as the blonde-haired boy cleared his throat slightly before speaking. To him. "Hello. My name is Arthur and I would love to get to know you some more… I mean you and Gwen are welcome to sit with me at lunch... I mean I would like it if you would eat by me… and my friends," he said haltingly. Merlin stared at him for a while, trying to decide if he should take a chance. He heard Gwen's voice in his head, telling him this was no way to live his life and he should just go for it. He looked into his face and made his decision. Arthur looked sincere and wanted to be a friend, nothing more. He could handle that. Besides, he had been staring at him, taking an inordinate amount of time to reach his decision, and Arthur hadn't turned away. He hadn't even squirmed under his unusual wary scrutiny.

"Well, I'll… um… have to talk to Gwen, but call it a date ... I mean… I'll be there…we'll be there... at lunch," he stammered, almost cringing at the words as they exited his mouth. He expected Arthur to take back his offer or turn away, but instead his face bloomed into a brilliant smile. Merlin was taken back, no one was ever that happy to see him. He was a problem, a burden each of his foster parents had to handle until he was transferred to someone new. Yet here was this gorgeous boy who seemed to actually want him around. Then again, he had no idea who he really was. He would probably feel different if he knew he had just thought of him as gorgeous and even if he didn't, he would never want him around if he knew his past. As Arthur led him through the crowded cafeteria, it became simple to him. He would just have to hide it.

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	3. Chapter 3

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Arthur waited for Merlin to gather all of his belongings before casually leading him toward the cafeteria. It was a miracle he didn't run into anybody in the crowded hallway because he kept looking back to make sure Merlin was following him. When they reached the door of the boisterous room, Merlin hesitated before following Arthur through the line to get his food. Arthur loaded his tray with as much food as he could, but Merlin settled on a small salad and an apple. He felt to nervous to eat and considered feeding Arthur an excuse as they approached the corner of the lunchroom.

Merlin was slightly surprised to see Gwen seated between a dark-haired man with a charming smile and a girl with hair like the night, but when he thought about it, he shouldn't have been. Gwen was a good judge of character and these people seemed to be inviting enough, especially if they were anything like Arthur. He allowed himself to sink into the seat between Arthur and a man with jaw length brown hair. He offered Gwen a smile as she reached across the table to squeeze her hand in hers with a bright smile on her face.

Arthur's jaw clenched lightly before he introduced Merlin to the rest of the group. Merlin eyes flited from face to face as the name was said but he didn't really make eye contact with any of them. Leon seemed to notice his discomfort and directed the conversation to the lessons they had just come from. Gwaine's face lit up as he innocently turned to Arthur to ask if he had finally defeated big bad monster that was Calculus class. Arthur's responding glare had no real heat to it, but Merlin blushed and ducked his head as Arthur declared him a "bloody genius rivaling Einstein," something Gwen agreed with wholeheartedly.

-**Page break is what I am-**

Arthur was could feel Merlin relaxing beside him as the conversation progressed and the group began to try to get to know their new members. Gwen was much more talkative then Merlin was, and they soon had a fairly clear picture of exactly who they were. Merlin and Gwen were both foster children who had moved to Camelot from another state to live under the care of Will and Freya. They were a kindly couple who was willing to take them both in, even though they weren't technically related by blood. Merlin's mother had died when he was two and, without any father or any family to step up, he had been in the foster care system ever since. Gwen's parents had died when she was nine in a plane crash and she had been moved into the same house as Merlin when they were ten.

In the two years they lived in that house, they got quite close with each other. When their foster father, Gaius, was diagnosed with a brain tumor, they got separated. Three years, and between them eight homes later, they were reunited in another group home housing six other kids. They lived in that house together until the family decided they simply couldn't support that many kids roughly seven months later. A man Olaf and his wife Juniper offered to take Merlin and Gwen into their home so they wouldn't have to change schools again. They lived with them for only two months before they ended up being separated for about four months.

Gwen trailed off slightly, looking at Merlin quickly, before she ended the tale, quickly relating that they had been moved here a week ago and she was hoping for something more permanent. The last year of her story was vague and full of holes, but Arthur figured she was tired of talking at that point. Elyan mentioned something about them being a cute couple and there was a multitude of reactions around the small table. Lance's fork stopped halfway to his mouth, his hand tightening on his utensil. Arthur closed his eyes as his jaw tightened. Gwaine and Percy's eyes shot to Arthur, looking concerned he might do something rash. Gwen blushed darkly as Merlin choked harshly on his food. She began stammering that there was no way she could like him; he was her brother. The atmosphere relaxed and Arthur noticed that Lance seemed to be in a better mood than he had been in before. He couldn't blame him; he was smiling wider as well.

Morgana watched the entire interaction with amusement before she turned to Gwen. "Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you guys are here," she said, throwing a quick wink in Merlin's direction. "But why did you guys end up moving after Olaf and Juniper? I mean, if they wanted you guys to stay at the same school? And how did you end up back together?"

Gwen opened her mouth, probably to neatly excuse the subject, but she was interrupted as her foster brother leapt roughly to his feat and raced from the room, nearly knocking people over in his haste to get away. Morgana shrunk back against Leon in surprised before looking at Gwen with Wide apologetic eyes.

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	4. Chapter 4

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Merlin hadn't meant to let his guard down. In fact, he had hoped that he could go through his day without drawing much attention to himself. But somehow, between Gwen's exuberance and Arthur's blind acceptance, he found himself surrounded by a group of popular, yet surprisingly down to earth kids. He was surprised to find himself relaxing and even enjoying the conversation, even though they were discussing him. He kept sneaking glances at the blond boy beside him and was sure he had never met someone so open. He was enthralled in him, but knew that he was only setting his heart for future pain. Surprisingly, as he looked around at the smiling faces around him, he found he didn't care. He was starting to feel the hope he swore long ago he wouldn't feel.

When Morgana asked her own innocent question, Merlin's bubble popped. His vision clouded over with panicked images he was sure would soon become a reality. He could see the faces around him morphing into disgust and blame. He could see the laughter and scorn. He could see every negative outcome of telling the truth of his past. He shot up from his seat, his thoughts a continuing mantra of _run, run, run. _

When he got outside, he realized his mistake. Not only had he been completely rude, but he now had to explain to everyone why he had panicked and ran like a frightened colt when faced with an apparently innocent question. He heard the bell ring, right as he spotted Gwen walking his way. He stood and walked toward her, offering his most apologetic smile. She smiled back at him and searched his eyes, as though she could spot all the answers he kept hidden from the world. Sadly, though he had let her into his world, Gwen had yet to crumble all the walls around his heart. She was his best friend, but he had been broken long before she had come into the picture.

"Are you okay?" she asked him, squeezing his arm as they walked side by side toward their next classes. He nodded his head but she released his arm in favor of tilting his head up, forcing him to meet her compassionate gaze. "I didn't tell them anything. If you don't want to talk about it, don't. They won't push you. And if you want to tell them, they won't blame you, okay?" Her voice was gentle and soft, yet Merlin flinched at her words. He nodded slightly, said he would meet her by the parking lot after the last class, and walked away. He couldn't know how worried the gaze that followed him was.

He entered his English class and looked around wildly as someone began to call his name. he finally spotted Gwaine and Lance waving at him, indicating wildly at the seat beside them. Merlin fought down his panic as he walked over and slid into the seat. Despite the questions he knew would follow, he couldn't contain a small smile that blossomed at the sign of acceptance. Lance clapped him on the shoulder and Merlin tried hard not to flinch. Gwaine, for all his joker persona, seemed to understand something past the surface, because he leaned over and said in a serious voice, "Whatever that was, it doesn't matter. We're not offended and even I can recognize when to push and when not too. As far as I'm concerned, the subjects off the table unless you ever want to talk about it, then I can listen really well. Though Percy might have to be there since I can't keep secrets from him, but he isn't big on spreading gossip." Lance nodded his agreement as Merlin felt relief flood his veins. He smiled his first genuine smile as the class began. Lance and Gwaine smiled back as they silently congratulated themselves. Little did they know, that was the first genuine smile to grace the serious boys face in roughly a year. Little did they know the true nature of the battle they had just won, or the unspoken promises they had just made. Not that the knowledge would have changed much.

As the three worked through the class and discovered that all three also shared psychology together, with the addition of Morgana, they all learned a lot about each other. Gwaine continued to joke around with Merlin until he actually had him laughing. Lance had a quieter demeaner, but Merlin could feel the loyalty washing over him in waves of comfort. Merlin hadn't felt as accepted and relaxed since he was a small child. Gwaine and Lance couldn't believe the difference in the normally reserved young man. He was still hesitant and skittish, but his smiles were coming more comfortably and frequent. When they were joined by Morgana, Merlin retreated behind his walls, but that didn't seem to last too long. Morgana didn't mention his abrupt departure at lunch, but instead began talking to Merlin about psychology. Soon, it wasn't pulling teeth to get Merlin to talk. Morgana not only got Merlin talking, but he was talking about himself. Apparently, he wanted to be a child psychologist. Morgana, who was interested in a similar career, jumped on the subject. The teacher had finished the lecture for the day rather quickly, so they had a surprising amount of time to just talk.

Lance and Gwaine were having their own discussion about the economics homework, vaguely listening to the conversation next to them when Gwaine heard something that piqued his interest. Merlin was gesturing wildly around him while he spoke, "…with a focus particularly with those who are dealing with same- sex attraction or are ready to come out as gay. I mean I think I could really connect with those kids because I've been there." Merlin seemed to realize what he was saying mid-sentence because he let his voice dwindle to a whisper, but not before his new friends heard him. Merlin looked horrified for a minute until he dropped his head and began mumbling apologies to his trembling hands.

Morgana looked up and locked eyes with Lance and Gwaine sadly. It was obvious that someone in his past had made this something Merlin had to be sorry for. Gwaine looked almost murderous, having had attitudes like that directed at him in the past. Morgana took Merlin's trembling hands in her own and spoke softly. "Merlin, it's not something to be sorry for. It's who you are, and we don't care. Honestly, you are still the same person to us as before." Merlin looked up with a heartbreaking mixture of hope and doubt in his eyes, and Morgana gently wiped the errant tear from his cheek before continuing. "I promise. I mean Gwaine and Percy have been together for almost two years and Arthur, my brother, has been out for almost a year and a half. We don't care." Merlin looked at Gwaine, who nodded in confirmation. Merlin flung his arms around Morgana in an unexpected, yet not unwelcome hug, surprising even himself. He couldn't hold back the 'thank you' that edged itself out of his throat.

Merlin drew back suddenly and looked awkwardly toward Gwaine, Lance, and Morgana. He rubbed the back of his neck and said, "I'm sorry. I didn't intend to get all emotional on you guys." Gwaine laughed and clapped a hand on Merlin's shoulder, looking slightly concerned when Merlin flinched harshly at the contact. None of them noticed the blonde beauty observing them from the row next to them. The bell rang and the whole classroom sighed. Merlin felt emotionally drained and was extremely grateful that he only had two more classes to go. He collected his things and said good-bye to his friends as he headed toward Econ.

As soon as he entered the room, he sat in the first open seat he could find. He laid his head in his hands and tried to resurrect the walls that had begun to crumble around his heart. He numbly sat thru economics, surprising his teacher with a knack for numbers. He ignored the snickers from his classmates, used to the petty drama that surrounds each school he attends. At least this time he had people he could at least count on to be friendly. Again, he failed to notice the blonde girl behind him, or the black-haired thug she was talking to. When the bell rang, he walked to gym with his head down.

When he entered gym after changing into his uniform, he was once again startled to hear his name called through the cacophony. He looked up and saw Leon and Lance waving at him from beside the bleachers. He made his way over and neatly side-stepped the hand Leon made to put on his arm. Leon looked at him strangely for a second before he turned toward the coach, who was starting class with some easy jogging. They began jogging and by the time they began their circuits, Lance was extracting the same shy smiles he had succeeded in getting from Merlin earlier. They continued to joke around and tease each other until even Merlin was laughing along. On the way, back to the locker room, Merlin tripped over a strategically placed foot. He went down hard but quickly regained his feet. Years of practice kept his face impossibly blank as he eyed the passing face of a smirking dark-haired boy and a golden-haired beauty beside him. He ignored Leon's shocked face, but he did push a rage-filled Lance toward the locker room.

Though neither tried to discuss what happened, Merlin felt humiliated. He was sure that they were about to discover what a freak he really was. He was sure they would realize that he was a burden, a problem magnet, and at the very least an unpopular, socially awkward nerd. He didn't wait for either of them to finish but raced from the locker room. He arrived at the parking lot and waited impatiently for Gwen. He just wanted to get home. He felt a hand on his shoulder and spun around so quickly that he almost punched a concerned Lance in the face. He blushed and ducked his head, a vague apology slipping past his lips. Lance opened his mouth to say something, but he was distracted by the arrival of Gwen and Morgana. Gwen immediately locked eyes with Merlin, and he offered her a stilted smile. She glanced at Lance as he offered her his arm and a blush spread across her cheeks at Merlin's encouraging smile. She accepted and he began to lead her deeper through the maze of the parking lot. Morgana grabbed Leon's hand as he put in his earbuds. She turned to Merlin and immediately regaled him with an exciting depiction of the drama that had ensued in her math class. Merlin felt his tension relaxing and felt himself smile, truly smile. It felt like freedom, something Merlin hadn't felt in years.

All it took was Arthur. As soon as he turned and saw that perfect face, he knew he was done for. Especially since he now knew that Arthur also liked guys. He wasn't sure whether he was grateful for that fact or not. It should bring him hope, but it also made everything more complicated. All he could do was brace himself as Arthur opened his mouth to speak…

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	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry it's been so long!**

Arthur could feel his heart beating quickly at the sight of Merlin laughing freely with his sister. It made them both look beautiful. He admired the way that Merlin's hair caught the afternoon light and the way his blue eyes seemed to be pulling him in. He threw him a wide smile as their eyes locked and Merlin slowed to stop in front of him, smiling hesitantly at him through his ridiculously thick eyelashes.

"Hey, how was the rest of your first day?" he asked, stepping slightly closer to the brunette. He tried not to feel offended when Merlin moved away from him slightly.

Merlin couldn't help his reaction when someone who was much heavier than him suddenly inched closer to him and he felt a swoop of self-reproach as hurt flashed briefly in Arthur's eyes. "It was okay," he mumbled. Lance opened his mouth, anger flashing across his face but Merlin gave a sharp shake of his head and Lance simply closed his mouth into a thick frown looking unhappy.

Arthur looked curiously between the two for a second before shaking his head and turning back to Merlin. "I'm having the group over at my house if you and Gwen would like to come over for a while," he offered, waving his hand around at the group around them. Merlin was going to say no but felt the word die in his throat as he met Gwen's pleading look. "Okay, I'm sure Will and Freya won't mind if we aren't home till dinner, but we can't stay any later than that."

Arthur gave him a blinding grin and ushered him into the front seat of his car. Everyone else piled into either his backseat or Gwaine's beat-up truck and they headed toward the big house Arthur and Morgana had grown up in. Arthur almost chuckled at the way Merlin's eyes widened as he took in the big house, but he held it in. He didn't want to do anything to break the tentative trust they had gained from the boy next to him. He couldn't explain why he felt so drawn to him, but something in him needed Merlin to like him. He had a feeling that whether Merlin wanted to be more than friends or not, they were going to need each other.

As they piled out of the cars, Arthur threw his arm around Merlin's shoulders and tried to stop his heart from dropping into his stomach when Merlin awkwardly squirmed away. He forced his smile to stay as he led them around the house and to the backyard. Merlin's eyes danced slightly when he took in the grand gardens that graced the back of the house.

They settled onto the chairs that graced the back patio, and Merlin and Arthur ended up squashed together on the porch swing much to the subtle meddling of Morgana. Arthur couldn't decide if she thought his feelings might be reciprocated or if she just knew he liked him and liked to mess with him. They lapsed into a comfortable silence after exhausting the topic of football and future careers. Arthur felt Merlin relax next to him and he was surprised when Merlin broke the silence by clearing his throat.

"So, Arthur," he said softly, almost shrinking under the scrutiny as everyone turned to look at him at once. Arthur gave him an encouraging smile and he let out a breath before he began to speak, picking at a loose thread on the bench next to his leg and refusing to meet Arthur's eyes. "We were talking during psychology today and it came up that Gwaine and Percival are gay. Morgana might have mentioned that you were out as well. Is that true?" His voice was soft, and Arthur felt him scooch away from him slightly well he was talking, as though he was contagious somehow. Arthur immediately felt himself tense up.

"Yeah. I am," he said, watching Merlin's blank face carefully and ignoring the ogling faces of those around them. Gwen and Morgana were whispering to each other and shooting hopeful looks at the two of them. The rest of the boys were looking at them in a mixture of hope and apprehension. Gwaine was gripping Percy's hand in a death grip as he watched the two of them with wide eyes.

"And no one cares? I mean everyone is just okay with it?" Merlin asked incredulously. He was honestly shocked and a little bit hopeful but there was no way Arthur could ever really like him. He just couldn't help but think maybe he had really found people who could like him for him. Arthur, however, heard his tone and remembered all the shying away from his touch and connected all the wrong dots in his head.

"Yeah, no one cares, and we are going to have a problem if you do," he said harshly. Merlin looked stricken and went to open his mouth, but Arthur assumed the worst and wasn't going to listen. "Look, we were nice enough to take you in to our group when no one else even noticed you were alive, and you repay us with bigotry. I promise," he snarled, worked up to a frenzy, and grabbed Merlin's wrist in his firm grip, getting more enraged at the harsh jerk that followed. "You won't break if you touch me. You know, no one is going to really like you if this is who you are. Good luck at school now."

Arthur briefly noticed the terror reflected back at him before the Gwaine's voice finally broke through the angry fog in his brain. Gwaine got him to release his grip and Merlin took off, not even slowing to scoop up his backpack on his way out of the yard. Gwen shot him a furious look and ran after him, scooping up both their bags on her way. Arthur tried to follow but Gwaine shoved him back and rolled his eyes in fury before grabbing Percy's hand and tearing off after the siblings.

Morgana was suddenly in his face as Lance, Elyan and Leon all snuck out of the yard with awkward waves and mumbled good-byes. Morgana gave them a faux smile before glaring at her brother once more. Arthur sat in front of her in awkward silence before she began to speak in an alarmingly calm voice.

"Do you have any idea what you have even done Arthur?" she asked him, looking into his eyes.

"I know," Arthur said deprecatingly. He felt horrible and he really didn't need Morgana to make him feel worse. "I overreacted. He's just been uncomfortable with me all afternoon. I thought that you guys told him and then he was disgusted with me or something."

Morgana shook her head and closed her eyes slightly. "Arthur," she said softly, laying a hand on his shoulder. "He's gay. He was in tears after he let it slip during class."

"What?" he asked, looking up at her in wide eyes.

"yeah," Morgana said, looking at him in compassion. "I think there is a lot about his past we don't know. He's got this personality that he keeps locked up somewhere inside him and it peeks out sometimes. I think he needs us so you've got to apologize to him and you have to make him believe it, got it?"

Arthur nodded and let the tears fall from his eyes.

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	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry it's been so long, but I still own nothing. **

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When Arthur walked into school the next morning, he was surprised to find Merlin and Gwen talking to Lance, Elyan, Gwaine, and Percy. Gwaine saw them approaching and his smile melted away as he moved slightly in between Merlin and Arthur in a protective stance. Arthur felt the shame sweep through him as his head dropped to stare at his feet. He felt Morgana's grip tighten on his wrist as she pulled him toward his friends.

He looked up and met the most beautiful pair of blue eyes he had ever seen. "Merlin, I want to apologize for what I said yesterday. I had a lot of personal issues that I took out on you and you didn't deserve it and I'm sorry," he said sincerely.

He could see the doubt in Merlin's eyes as he gave a half hearted wave and whispered one soft, "I'm fine." He then turned away as though nothing had ever been wrong and Arthur snapped.

"No Merlin. It's not okay," he said, grabbing his hands in between both of his, ignoring the harsh flinch he received. " I don't know who told you that someone treating you like that was okay, but they lied. You are an amazing person and you deserve better than that. I hope you realize that I really do regret what happened yesterday. I hope that I can prove to you that I care about you, maybe even more than I should."

He could see the years pooling in Merlin's eyes as he listened, truly listened, to what Arthur was saying. He blinked them back but Arthur knew the extent of the battle he had won. He had been the one person in Merlin's life to push further, to demand true trust and forgiveness. The first one who really seemed to regret hurting Merlin. "Thank you, Arthur. You don't know what that means to me," Merlin said in a soft, shaking voice.

"I think maybe I'm beginning to understand," Arthur replied. That sentence earned him his first blinding smile from Merlin's reluctant lips. He threw his arms around Arthur, who caught him in a surprised embrace that didn't last near long enough for Arthur's liking.

Merlin pulled away and turned away with a blush, mumbling something about the bathroom before speeding off. Lance and Gwaine have him approving smiles while Gwen gripped his shoulders, whispering a quiet thank you in his ear.

Throughout the morning, Arthur and Merlin continued to talk and every smile or reluctant laugh felt like a victory. Arthur couldn't believe how easily he was falling for this boy, but it felt real. It felt like they were somehow connected to each other, like they were coming home.

When lunch arrived, Merlin easily slid into the spot next to Arthur like he belonged there, surprising even himself. He laughed along with Gwaine and Lance, who seemed to pull him out of himself with ease. By the time the bell rang he had been teasing Percy about his large stature. And if his hand found itself wrapped in Arthur's, well, nobody needed to know.

When Arthur got to his car at the end of the day, he couldn't keep the smile off his face. Merlin was opening up to him and he seemed to want the same thing Arthur did. If he needed it to be a little slower, well, Arthur was more than willing to go slow.

"Romeo is once again waiting for his one true love," Gwaine said as he and Percy can from behind him. "Hopefully,"Arthur said with a soft smile on his face. Percy snorted but Gwaine's face became serious.

"You did good this morning. I think you really got him to listen, but if you hurt him again, you won't like what you get. Got me?" He said in a voice that left no room for doubt. Arthur nodded, knowing he would do anything to avoid hurting Merlin again.

He smiled as he heard Gwen's voice behind him, but it morphed into a mixture of shock and anger as he took in Merlin's bloody face.

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	7. Chapter 7

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**Here is another one and I still own nothing but the plot**

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Merlin had been having a surprisingly good day. He had been apprehensive about going to school, almost to the point that he actually considered skipping altogether but running away from his problems had never appealed to him. He just shook his head sharply and reminded himself that he had been through worse as they entered the front door of the depilated school building. Gwen looked at him in concern. Merlin just hoped that whatever happened to him after yesterday, none of Gwen's new friends took it out on her. She deserved to have whatever she wanted out of life and he was tired of messing things up for her.

They walked down toward their first class and Merlin couldn't help tensing up slightly with every step that they took. Gwen was watching him out of the corner of her eyes, gaze worried and apprehensive. She had tried to get Merlin to talk to her after they left the yard the day before, but he had been determined to pretend that nothing was wrong. He had evaded all of her attempts to get him alone and hadn't said a word on their walk to school.

As they approached the door in the crowded hallway, Merlin tripped over someone's foot and almost went sprawling headfirst into the crowd if Gwen hadn't reached out and steadied him. His stumble got the attention of a group of boys near across the hall and Gwaine's head snapped up, a wide smile spreading across his face. He was immediately bounding toward them, calling out Merlin's name as though it was a cheer and stopping only slightly before scooping Merlin up into a spontaneous hug.

Merlin froze and didn't relax into the hug like one normally would but Gwaine didn't seem to mind. He released Merlin quickly and grabbed his arm to lead him over to where the rest of the group were waiting. No one mentioned anything about the day before, electing instead to discuss the various homework assignments the Gwaine had failed to complete the day before. Merlin relaxed slightly but kept a wary eye out for Arthur and his sister, sure that their presence would break the fragile peace between them.

When Merlin finally spotted his familiar head of golden hair coming up the hallway, he almost bolted. As it was, he tensed up and tried to sink back into the group he was with. He wanted to disappear, and he was fairly certain that Arthur wanted him gone as well. At least he thought that until Arthur actually started speaking to him in a way that nobody had ever taken the time to before, except Gwen of course. He sounded like he was actually sorry for what had been done and truly wanted to know that Merlin knew that. The fact that he stopped him when Merlin had tried to let him off easy told him that he was truly as sorry as he expressed himself to be.

The rest of the day was different than Merlin had ever expected it to be. His morning classes were spent with friends and he was enjoying himself in spite of it. He even partnered with Arthur in Calculus and had to contain a giggle at how utterly clueless Arthur was when it came to the subject. Arthur had watched with wide eyes as Merlin explained his way through the entire assignment with ease, but by the final problem, he seemed to be making the necessary connections more easily.

Everything was going so well that Merlin should have known that something was going to go wrong eventually. It turned out that it only took until economics for things to go downhill. Merlin had come from his psychology class and was smiling in spite of himself, an annoying little one that he couldn't seem to get rid of despite his best efforts. That smile melted off his face when someone sharply smacked the back of his head to get his attention. He turned and was met with the smirking faces of some blonde girl and her black-haired brute. He watched them for a moment but neither of them said a word. When the instructor began class, he turned and tried to slouch down in his seat without looking like he was doing so. He heard slight chuckles coming from behind him and couldn't help the slight flush of humiliation that crept up his face and down his neck.

He waited eagerly for the class to end, but as soon as it did, he found his exit blocked by the dark-haired boy. He tried to walk past him but found his shoulder in a vice-like grip and his books scattered around him on the floor. Merlin could feel panic clawing at his insides, but he attempted a weak smile and a deep breath, hoping that this was simply a misunderstanding of sorts. Unfortunately, luck wasn't on his side.

"Hello," purred a voice next to his ear. Merlin found himself forcefully turned toward the blonde who was perched on the desk behind him. "You're that new, smart kid, right? Merlin?"

Merlin felt himself numbly nodding his agreement, but he was distracted by his blurring vision. He was desperately trying to draw in air and squash the rising panic that was setting his heart racing. He watched in confusion as the blonde-haired girl hopped from her perch on the desk and moved forward to gently stroke a hand down his cheek. He winced as she suddenly gripped his chin in between her fingernails. He tried to pull away but found the grip on his shoulder tightening even further and threatening to cut off the circulation in his arm.

"Well, Merlin. My name is Morgause and this is Argavaine," She whispered in his ear. She let go of his chin and gently slapped his cheek as though this was all a game. Merlin glanced at the teacher, who was glancing at them every few seconds while she set things up for her next class. Morgause let out a trill of laughter and the teacher relaxed slightly. Merlin felt like he could throw up. "We've got to get to class, but we wanted you to know exactly how _welcome_ you really are," Morgause said as Agravain threw him to the floor next to his books. The duo walked out the door with Morgause waving innocently at the instructor as they went.

Merlin sat there for a moment with his heart still pounding behind his chest until students began to trickle into the classroom, indicating that the precious minutes of passing period were ticking away and he was going to be late for his gym class. He scrambled to gather his books and all but ran out of the classroom. He sprinted towards the gym and almost flung himself into the locker room. He narrowly avoided colliding with Agravain, who had already changed into his uniform. Agravain pushed him sharply into a locker as he exited the stuffy changing area.

Merlin took a deep breath of air and let it out slowly as he tried to undo the lock on his gym locker with shaking fingers. He managed to calm himself down slightly as he changed and ran towards the gym. By the time he entered, roll call had passed and the class was jogging around the gym warming up. Merlin headed towards the coach with his head down and braced himself for the reprimand that he got as soon as the coach finished updating her attendance sheet. He caught Leon and Lance throwing him worried looks as they continued to jog slowly around the room.

Merlin flushed in embarrassment as the coach gently told him to watch the clock next time and sent him to do his laps with the rest of the class. Even though he had gotten off easy, Merlin felt as though everyone was watching him. He turned and began jogging, not bothering to try to run with Leon and Lance. Unfortunately, they weren't all that far behind him and they were fast when they wanted to be. He had barely done a quarter of a lap when they were suddenly on either side of him wearing identical looks of concern.

"Hey," Lance said cautiously. "Are you okay? You don't seem the type to be late and we were worried when Agravain and Morgause made it right on time."

Merlin still felt on edge and kept his gaze on the ground in front of him. "I'm fine," he mumbled.

Leon scoffed at him slightly as Lance raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah, then how did you get that growing bruise on your arm," he asked, indicating the growing purple blotch on his upper arm. Merlin flinched slightly as he looked at the bruise peeking out from under his sleeve. He let out a sharp breath and opened his mouth to brush it off when the coach stopped them and split them into different teams to play basketball. There was four teams and Leon and Lance weren't even involved in the same game as Merlin, let alone the same team. Sadly, Morgause was.

Everything went fine until right before the coach released them. Lance and Leon were relaxed and in their element on the court when they both froze as a commotion rose from across the gym. They turned in time to see Merlin going down amidst a tangle of limbs, ball bouncing away uselessly. The coach ran over as the teenagers carefully untangled themselves. Lance narrowed his eyes slightly as he looked at Morgause's smirking face. Merlin got to his feet, nodding at the coach that he was fine when suddenly a ball went soaring into his face.

Leon whirled around to see an Agravain with a faux horrified look painted on his face that barely hid a wide smirk while Lance ran toward Merlin. The bell rang while everyone was talking, making it hard to hear, but the coach released everyone but Agravain. He instructed Lance to take Merlin to the nurse if he needed it but let them leave.

Merlin was holding a hand to his bleeding nose and split lip, letting Lance lead him toward the locker room. Leon ran ahead and got a wad of tissues which he gently pushed towards Merlin's face. Merlin waved them both off and easily changed his clothes as though he'd practiced changing with blood streaming down his face all his life. Leon and Lance quickly changed themselves and grabbed their bags.

When they exited the locker room, Lance tried to turn them towards the nurse's office, but Merlin refused. "The bleebing's alreaby slowing bown," he mumbled thickly. Leon looked like he wanted to disagree but both boys had to admit he was right. If he didn't want to go, they weren't going to force him to.

They heard gasps from beside them and Merlin jerked around to see Morgana and Gwen, both with horrified looks on their faces. Gwen moved forward and expertly gave Merlin a hug around the bloodstained tissues. Morgana just stood there, slightly agape until Gwen gently ushered them toward the parking lot. Merlin was attempting to wipe the blood away from his face.

When they finally made it to Arthur's car, they heard an angry gasp and Merlin flushed in embarrassment as Arthur and Gwaine both burst into angry questions. He shuffled back slightly, and both looked slightly regretful.

"I had an accident in gym," he mumbled, hoping to diffuse the growing tension. Leon and Lance both jumped in angrily, shouting that it wasn't an accident, but Agravain that was to be blamed. The entire group seemed to agree with their angry assessment and Merlin shrunk back into Gwen, who was trying to calm everyone down. Arthur caught Merlin's wide eyes and waved everybody off, immediately shutting his own mouth.

The group quieted and looked guiltily at Merlin's shrunken form. Everything was frozen for a moment until Morgana began hastily grabbing through her bag until she was gently wiping the blood off of Merlin's face with a wet wipe. Merlin flinched harshly but eventually accepted the gesture. Percival mentioned something about going home before they attracted more attention and Merlin couldn't agree more.

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	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys! I still own nothing, but hope you enjoy!**

The next few weeks were interestingly enough, very uninteresting. Merlin had talked them all down from their need for vengeance, even resorting to begging when it came to Arthur and Gwaine, who were prepared to put all of their sports training to good use. Neither one of them was content to just let it go, but they also couldn't say no to Merlin's big, pleading blue eyes or doubt his logic when he told them they would be better off not getting detention when they couldn't even prove malicious intentions. That didn't stop the entire group from making it painstakingly clear to Morgause and Agravaine that Merlin wasn't to be messed with the next day at school, despite Merlin's embarrassment. And, as far as anyone in the group knew, it worked. The duo didn't make any more moves on Merlin during Gym class and if they were slightly more threatening and forward during Econ class, then who needed to know. Merlin kept the threats and insults to themselves, not even telling Gwen. He honestly wasn't sure she would keep it to herself at this point.

Other than that, things seemed to be going exceptionally well. Gwen and Lance had gotten together after about two weeks and were disgustingly adorable with each other, but Merlin couldn't be happier for his foster sister. Merlin was still in shock at how accepting and truly loving the group of friends he had somehow found himself in really was. They never pushed him past what he was prepared to give but went out of their way to make sure he knew they were there if he needed to talk. They accepted Merlin's quirks in a way that nobody else ever had. Most of the time they hung out as a group, but Merlin found himself roped into activities with only one or two other people more often than he had thought possible. It was as though they actually liked having him around.

Will and Freya were thoughtful and more accepting parents than Merlin could ever have imagined. They pushed him to enjoy himself with his friends and allowed them to come over on occasion as well, even though they had a bustling household on a good day and a crazy farm on a bad one. Merlin was terrified of disappointing them. He followed the rules to the letter and went above and beyond on his chores to the point that he can sometimes see the concern in Freya's eyes and the understanding sadness in Will's. He truly would never deserve them.

And then there was Arthur. Arthur who was attractive and sweet and protective. Arthur who was willing to do just about anything with Merlin and who had been seeking him out when they were in the group. Arthur who saved him a spot next to him and gently spoke to him when he was feeling anxious and asked him for Calculus tutoring with a bright red embarrassed flush painting his face. Arthur who he was slowly getting more comfortable around, grinning at the barbs they exchanged when Merlin was feeling particularly at ease and sinking into the hand the sometimes squeezed his hand or shoulder in comfort. There were times when he caught himself staring at him and dreaming about him reciprocating his feelings, but he never dared to let anything through his masks. He couldn't risk it.

Merlin was sure that his whole life right now was some kind of elaborate dream. Things never went right in his life and when they did, they never lasted too long. He could almost feel how fragile it all was in his hands and he was terrified of breaking it. He found himself wishing that life could stay this way forever. He would almost even say that he was happy and that was a risk he had sworn he would never take again.

-Hey, page break here-

Arthur was getting frustrated with himself. He knew that Merlin needed a friend right now, not a boyfriend. He knew that if Merlin was interested in something more, surely, he would have responded to one of Arthur's many advances or made some of his own instead of shying away from it all. Yet despite it all, he also knew that Merlin liked guys and that was what tormented him. The fact that there was a possibility led him to seeking out the adorable brunette at any chance he got. It led him to touch him when it was clear that Merlin didn't necessarily like being touched and it made him celebrate when Merlin just sunk into the touch. It made him stare into his eyes and just wonder what could be. It made him want to throw caution to the wind and just kiss all of the insecurities away. He loved how Merlin was when he was in his element, passionate and sassy. He would light up and it made him even more decidedly attractive.

And of course, Arthur sucked at hiding his feelings, so all of his friends knew about his annoyingly obvious crush on his friend except said friend. Or maybe Merlin knew and was just too nice or uncomfortable to say anything. Regardless, their friends teased Arthur relentlessly and pushed them toward each other as often as they could. Even Gwen would throw him a wink when he threw an arm around the back of Merlin's chair or looked toward the doorway nervously when Merlin was even a second late. Arthur knew he was being pitiful, but he couldn't seem to stop.

One night, when the group was huddled around a campfire, roasting marshmallows on long thin skewers, Arthur almost made a move. He wanted to reach out and tangle his hand with Merlin's or better yet, tangle his fingers in his hair and finally get a taste of his lips. And honestly, it was all Merlin's fault. Merlin was relaxed and teasing Gwaine, something he rarely did. The firelight was painting him in an enticing glow, brushing his black hair even darker against his pale skin and making his blue eyes even sharper. Arthur forced a smile while everyone laughed and got up to head toward the house, throwing a quick explanation over his shoulder as he went. He was only getting more chocolate bars. He wasn't running. He never ran.

He didn't notice Gwen extracting herself from Lance's side until she spoke to him in the brightly lit kitchen as he pulled chocolate bars out of the cupboard. "You know he likes you too, right?" Gwen said softly, smiling gently at him from beside the counter.

Arthur felt himself blushing slightly and couldn't help the way his heart skipped a beat at her words. "Really?" he said, doubt crawling through his words. "But he never said anything."

Gwen shook her head slightly, but her smile turned sad. "He's been through a lot and he's never gonna make a move until you do, but trust me, he likes you too," she said, resolutely looking into his eyes with enough conviction that Arthur felt elation shooting through him at the statement. "But Arthur," she started, blocking his way as he happily went to leave the kitchen. "Please, don't start anything unless you really mean it. I think you'll be good for him, I really do, but if you hurt him," she shook her head, eyes shifting from the floor back up to his face. "If you hurt him, we might never get him back."

With those words she turned and exited the house once more, leaving Arthur with her words replaying through his head.

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